January 31, 2011

Even gossip queens have a right to privacy

Filed under: General by Branko Collin @ 11:47 am

The Court of Appeal in Den Bosch has recently ruled that the public prosecutor must start a case against broadcaster BNN reporters Sophie Hilbrand and Filemon Wesselink for spying on TV presenter Albert Verlinde and his husband, Onno Hoes.

Ironically, Albert Verlinde is one of the presenters of TV gossip programme RTL Boulevard, and Onno Hoes is the Mayor of Maastricht—between them they must have committed more privacy violations than all the hidden cameras in girls’ locker rooms the world over combined.

Volkskrant reports that reporters Sophie Hilbrand and Philemon Wesselink installed audio recording equipment in an award they presented to Verlinde, the ‘Golden Ear”, with which they successfully recorded a discussion Verlinde and Hoes had in the car on their way home. The public prosecutor had already fined the reporters, so that they now get punished for the same offence twice. For the record, double jeopardy—or ne bis in idem as it is called here—is illegal in the Netherlands.

(Photo of Albert Verlinde by Thomas van de Weerd, some rights reserved)

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January 30, 2011

Classic Dutch carnival: Stoned as a Shrimp

Filed under: Music by Orangemaster @ 6:00 pm

Some 12 years ago after my first real Dutch party, someone bravely got up the next morning, made coffee and threw on a CD of comedy songs and sketches by Kees van Kooten and Wim de Bie (aka ‘Koot en Bie’), one of the most famous Dutch comedy acts ever. I could understand the odd word, but this song called ‘Stoont Als ‘n Garnaal’ was something I could dig. It means ‘Stoned as a Shrimp’ (I’d rather have an aliteration, so I didn’t use ‘prawn’ on purpose), and the Dutch ‘stoont’ is incorrect on purpose, it should also be ‘stoned’.

(roughly translated)

At uncle Piet’s party
There was some very good weed
After the second ‘stick’
Everyone got a kick
But Granny Van de Kamp
Wanted to get higher
Started swinging from the lamp
And sang this refrain

We’re as stoned as a shrimp
Stoned as a shrimp
Take another toke
‘Cause stoned as a shrimp
That’s what we all are

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RFID readers sold out after news of hackable transport card broke

Filed under: General by Branko Collin @ 1:51 pm

Trouw reports that the SRR220A RFID card reader is sold out in at least one webshop after word got out that hacking the Dutch transport card is both cheap and easy. The card reader will let you top up the card without paying.

Volkskrant adds that another online store, i-Pos, has sold hundreds. “It’s a mad house here, the orders are coming in day and night,” General Manager Dirk van der Heijden told the paper.

Meanwhile, Trans Link Systems (TLS), the besieged company behind the ill-fated Dutch transport card, refuses to warn users who forgot to swipe the card on check-out, Webwereld reports. The result is that many travellers are ‘fined’ 4, 10 or 20 euro every time they forget to check out—the amount depends on the deposit the transport company charges when you check in.

Dutch parliament told TLS that it has to send forgetful passengers an e-mail upon detecting the error. According to TLS, detecting the problem is a “technological impossibility”. Webwereld readers were quick to point out that just a few days ago TLS was boasting about how easy it is to detect use of a fraudulently topped-up public transport chip card.

Asking for a restitution seems to be an arduous task as well. Only in 1 in 18 passengers go through the trouble.

According to Dutchnews.nl, the province of Zuid-Holland has delayed the abandonment of paper bus tickets (the so-called Strippenkaart) due to the current problems with the transport card.

See also: Right to public transport refunds finite.

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January 29, 2011

A carnival hit that tells it like it is

Filed under: Music by Orangemaster @ 6:00 pm

Just two days ago I posted that “swear words in a foreign language are often perceived to be not as bad as in your own language,” and to back it up, here’s another carnival song called ‘Fok Joe’ (phonetic Dutch for ‘Fuck You’).

The opening shot of the ‘security guy’ has his Julian Assange look down pat, while singer Danny Panadero went as the doppelgänger of Pitbull, albeit with a mullet.

“I have a hit because there’s ‘fuck you’ in it,” the song of a Dutch ‘volkszanger’ (literally ‘folk singer’, but meaning ‘singer of the people’) who predominantly sings light ditties about love and life, a style that is popular in the Netherlands, Belgium and Germany and very appreciated during carnival.

Around 1:40 Panadero is singing at a children’s birthday party and mentions that K3, one if not still the most successful Dutch-language act ever who sing kiddy songs, should sing “a fuck you” as well.

‘Fuck you’ in Dutch sounds too banal,
but sing it in English and the whole place sings along.

He took the swear words right out of my mouth.

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Amsterdam traffic 1900-1930 (video)

Filed under: Automobiles,Bicycles by Branko Collin @ 4:24 pm

Cycling videographer Mark Wagenbuur has released another doozy. His video shows traffic in early 20th century Amsterdam, with — you guessed it — a focus on bicycles.

I can’t help but notice that after a century:

  • People still cycle on the Leidsestraat, although it’s forbidden.
  • The corner of Spui and Singel is still riddled with lousy infrastructure.
  • A ferry still carries thousands of pedestrians and cyclists towards Orangemaster’s old neighbourhood, although these days buses take the tunnel.
  • Pets still run across the Vijzelstraat, but these days cars go much faster, and the cat I saw cross a year ago was lucky to come out of that clash alive.

What’s changed: there are no more horse, dog, or man-drawn carts for transport. Compare it to this vid which starts at the exact same spot on the Leidsestraat.

(Video: YouTube / Mark Wagenbuur)

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January 28, 2011

Strippers banned from Urk

Filed under: Shows by Branko Collin @ 3:20 pm

The local government of Urk has banned all strippers from the fundamentalist Christian ex-island, RTL Nieuws reports. If a bar breaks the new law, it has to close shop temporarily.

Last year a bar hired a female stripper who went the full monty, which apparently prompted this bout of legislation. Urk is the town with the highest concentration of fishermen in the country. Until 1939 it was an island–Urkers still say ‘on Urk’ instead of ‘in Urk’, according to Wikipedia.

(Photo of American burlesque performer Lola Bel Aire by Michael Albov, some rights reserved)

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January 27, 2011

New carnival song boycotted over the word ‘anus’

Filed under: Music,Weird by Orangemaster @ 10:32 am

It’s OK to make fun of hard-working Poles and sing ‘racist’ slurs about the Chinese, but a funny song that starts with ‘Manus, get your finger out my anus’ is actually being boycotted by carnival-oriented radio stations.

On any given day you can hear songs on the radio with the words ‘fuck’, ‘pussy’, ‘bitch’ and the likes, but ‘anus’ (same in Dutch) is apparently Not Suitable For Work (NSFW). I don’t get it and neither do De Pikanto’s.

You all have to hear and see for yourselves, of course. It’s in Austrian style, very nice and clean, just the word ‘anus’ sticks out and yes, there are references to bisexuality and anal sex, as if that was ever a problem in the Netherlands.

The song comes from a 1970s song and is done here in carnival style, so in fact it’s been around for some 40 years. As well, using the argument of ‘but kids will hear it’ when the radio does play ‘I wanna Fuck A Dog in The Ass” by Blink 182 (De Pikanto’s argument) is very hypocritical. It is linguistically and culturally true that swear words in a foreign language are often perceived to be not as bad as in your own language, but ‘anus’ is a proper term if ever there was one.

If a drag queen sang this, would that have been better? I do love all these controversial carnival songs though.

Anyone remember this famous Dutch television advert with children and a song playing called ‘I wanna fuck you in the ass’? That was on TV for a while before something was done about it or not I could be wrong.

(Link: depers.nl)

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January 26, 2011

Free and undetected travel with public transport chip card

Filed under: Technology by Orangemaster @ 1:24 pm

After a series of nasty blows, like bludgeoning some game monster that just won’t die, the Dutch public transport chip card has been given what mainstream media see as the kiss of death.

With a computer running Windows and a hacker’s program called LogicAnalyz3r, not only can you top up your chip card like there’s no tomorrow, but travel without any kind of detection. If you put fake money on a proper card, check in or out normally while it doesn’t register, you have yourself a ticket to ride.

“The gates and top-up devices don’t check whether actual money was transferred from the bank to your chip card. Cracking the card takes about an hour, after that, it’s just a matter of seconds.”

Yes, it’s in Dutch, but computer magazine PC-Active has written up the entire how to in a handy PDF.

TLS, the company responsible for the chip card kept saying this was ‘a hacker thing, and not for ordinary people’. If that’s not begging to be bludgeoned by hackers, I don’t know what it. TLS’ Financial Director was pathetically (yes, value judgement) quoted on telly yesterday as saying, “It’s forbidden, why would anybody do that?” Sure dude, nobody downloads from the Internet, that would be wrong.

Yes, NOS Dutch news item is in Dutch, but it’s all about the tech shown in the video.
‘Tampering with balance on chipcard is easy’

UPDATE: TLS is currently looking for a Security Officer & Fraud Manager (Thanks @AlexanderNL, @gronical!)

(Link: webwereld, Photo by Franklin Heijnen, some rights reserved)

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January 25, 2011

Hamsters were not really mistreated, says judge

Filed under: Animals,Art by Orangemaster @ 1:11 pm

Kunstenares Tinkebell (Katinka Simonse) has been found not guilty of mistreating 95 hamsters. Back in 2008 the Society for the Protection of Animals and the police raided one of her exhibitions to free dozens of hamsters. The hamsters should only have been stuck in their balls for 30 minutes (apparently recommended) and in this case were stuck in them for four hours.

Since the judge and an Artis zoo vet could not determine whether the hamsters where in danger or not, Tinkebell got a fine of 950 euro, with 450 euro as a ‘suspended fine’. The gallery owner is also in the clear.

(Link: rtl.nl, Source image: Empathy.)

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January 24, 2011

Cooking club rides bikes and sails boats to local farms

Filed under: Bicycles,Food & Drink by Branko Collin @ 10:05 am

“The people here have no idea where they can buy locally grown food,” Kook Company’s Saskia van Deijk told daily De Pers. “That’s why when it is summer we take the boat to nearby cheese farms and the bakfiets to farmers. Once we’ve stocked up on ingredients we return to our building which is right on the river Rhine and prepare our meals.”

These meals are surprising variations on the Dutch kitchen: cold cauliflower mousse and profiteroles with a Gouda cheese sauce, or spinach poffertjes. The Kook in the name is not a reference to a mental state, but simply means ‘cooking’ in Dutch.

Photo: Kookcompany

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