January 26, 2012

Poor understanding of dialect ruins old man’s reputation

Filed under: General,Weird by Orangemaster @ 6:22 pm

A 90-year-old pharmacist in Maastricht is said to be devastated after popular Dutch talk show De Wereld Draait Door messed up the translation of a subtitle in their film of the elderly man.

In a segment where they show funny videos, a woman walks into his pharmacy and asked for something for her throat. He makes a charming joke, saying, “Did you sing too much?”.

Problem is, the television show didn’t air this because they thought he said “did you sing too much”, but they understood it as “did you suck too much”, which, if that had been what he said, would be kinda funny.

But he said ‘sing’ (‘gezongen’) and not ‘suck’ (‘gezogen’). The man has a Limburg accent that the subtitler didn’t understand, made an assumption and basically trashed a hard-working old man out of ignorance.

My friends also tell me that if the old man had meant ‘suck’ (blow job), he’d have used a totally different verb in local dialect.

The show sent the man a ‘we’re sorry’ bouquet of flowers, but he still claims he’ll never watch the show again.

(Link: www.limburger.nl, Photo of Old drugstore by fpeault, some rights reserved)

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January 20, 2012

Laura Dekker ignored by Guinness, but still a winner

Filed under: General,Weird by Orangemaster @ 4:47 pm

The Dutch media probably chose today to make punny headlines about Laura Dekker who won’t become the youngest person to sail solo around the world because the Guinness Book of Records scrapped the distinction in 2009. However, back in 2009 (PDF) she had already mentioned she didn’t care about the record:

“Q. Is the record to become the youngest solo sailor very important to you?
A. It’s not the most important, it’s a nice addition. I have a dream and a very strong desire to do this.”

It’s amusing to see the Dutch Twittersphere make such a big deal about old news, claiming the ‘dumb cow’ should have gone to school like the rest of them. Of course, we also assumed she’d hopefully break a record, no matter what you call it.

According to Radio Netherlands, “Guinness World Records have decided to abandon the category of “youngest” in its list of world records. Their argument is that they do not want to encourage, discourage or support inappropriate record attempts by minors. On those grounds, they therefore refuse to acknowledge any achievement by the youngest person to sail around the world.”

And no matter what, whether there was a party or not at the finish, whether child services will haul her and her father away, one thing remains: she hates her nationality and will probably move to New Zealand and trade the ‘dumb cows’ in for sheep.

(Link: www.hartvannederland.nl, Photo of Dutch flag by Guido, some rights reserved)

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January 18, 2012

Beating up paramedics, the latest trend in senseless violence

Filed under: Film,General by Orangemaster @ 1:15 pm

This public service announcement is in English with Dutch subtitles, and when I saw it, I think I responded to it the way the makers intended. However, I did mentally note that the ‘scooter kiddies’ harassing the paramedics at the end were probably not Caucasian, fitting the standard profile of these petty criminals at least in the big cities.

We’ve talked about this kind of advert before and it’s not news, but it is a form of violence that seems to mystify people. The bits I’ve read tend to say that certain ethnic groups do not like being told what to do by paramedics and associate them with the police telling them what to do, but that sounds more like an excuse.

Two weeks ago, the film ‘Doodslag’ (‘Manslaughter’) premiered in Eindhoven, starring stand-up comedian Theo Maassen as a paramedic. He swats ones of these annoying kids blocking his ambulance with a dying baby in it, but then a bit too hard. The big question is: does this make him a criminal too?

The film’s opening shot highlights ‘rude behaviour’ using Prime Minister Mark Rutte’s epic sample of ‘You get real man! Boy oh boy!’ as he answered a typically street-level right-wing quip of ‘Get real, man!’ in Parliament. The Prime Minister’s remarks basically confirmed to the entire country that street language is now commonplace, which sparked much debate and is ironic considering that the big letters at the start of the film quote the PM as saying that ‘we need to take back the country from those ‘jerks’, implying that jerks are running the country. But Maassen says he is convinced that the film will change the way the Netherlands thinks. “It is an exciting, cool film with guns and sex,” he adds.

(Link: www.omroepbrabant.nl)

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January 11, 2012

Laura Dekker hounded by Dutch officials about school

Filed under: General,Sports by Orangemaster @ 11:57 am

Just as Laura Dekker is coming closer to being the youngest person sailing solo around the world, the
compulsory schooling bureaucrats have turned up the heat on the fact that she’s not handing in her homework. Her lawyer and even the Minister of Education has said that Laura does not have to go to school in Netherlands as she signed herself out the local registry.

What the bureaucrats have managed to do is make the teenager hate the Netherlands so much that she has no trust in the Dutch government whatsoever. She’s now flying with a New Zealand flag on her boat and does not want to live in the Netherlands anymore.

In about two weeks, she will arrive on the island of Sint Maarten, a Dutch island, and achieve her goal.

Will some petty bureaucrats ruin her party because they couldn’t take down a teenage girl with that much will power? Stay tuned! My money’s on Laura. She’ll show those losers what a real hero looks like and surely has the intelligence to go and study on her own terms eventually.

(Link: www.depers.nl, Photo of an entirely unrelated boat by the US Navy)

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January 1, 2012

Stock market gorilla fails for the first time in 11 years

Filed under: General by Branko Collin @ 3:16 pm

In 2000, gorilla Jacko picked a banana with a basket of shares attached to it, and those shares have since then outperformed the AEX (Amsterdam) index handsomely.

Z24 now reports that last year the gorilla’s random pick fared worse than the AEX for the first time. In 2011 AEX only dropped by 13%, whereas Jackos stocks decreased 45%.

Measured over 11 years the gorilla is still doing much better than the market. Jacko’s basket rose more than 30%, whereas AEX dropped by 55%.

See also: Dolphins outperform market analysts

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December 30, 2011

Dutch astronaut André Kuipers wears Heerlen space watch

Filed under: Design,Dutch first,General by Orangemaster @ 6:06 pm

The watch Dutch astronaut André Kuipers is currently wearing in space was specially designed and made for him by watchmaker Roland Oostwegel from Heerlen, which is positive news from a city that has had to tear down an entire shopping mall right before Christmas for fear of collapse.

The watch bears the name R.O.1 SPACE Special Edition (pics) and will stay five months in space at the ISS on Kuipers’ wrist. It is the first-ever Dutch watch to go into space. I love how the second watch has a number four that looks like the capital Russian letter ‘d’ (Д).

When Kuipers met Oostwegel he told him about how astronauts lose their sense of time. Oostwegel then decided to create a watch for astronauts to solve this problem, with a mission counter that displays the elapsed mission time in days and weeks, and an extra sub dial for when the space ship has made one full lap around planet Earth in 91 minutes and 59 seconds.

Price for the stainless steel limited edition starts at 4900 euro.

(Link: limburger.nl, www.fratellowatches.com, Photo of a telescope at the Brunssummerheide (‘Brunssum heather’) in Heerlen)

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December 28, 2011

Orangemaster’s favourite stories of 2011

Filed under: Bicycles,General,Sports by Orangemaster @ 5:33 pm

Another year of posting is coming to an end and it’s time to pick our favourite stories of 2011.

We had a lot of stories about cycling and bicycles which were retweeted by many people (thanks!), encouraging us to make a category for them, and a lot of stories about discriminatory and absurd laws and situations. Oh, and some sports news.

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December 26, 2011

Postcodes and road maps liberated in the Netherlands

Filed under: General by Branko Collin @ 5:27 pm

It took a couple of lawsuits to put their prospective gatekeepers into place, but both the Dutch postal code data and the Dutch road map data have been set free.

Postcodes used to be determined by the Dutch PTT, and when the company privatized they somehow started claiming ownership. When the government started handing out postcodes for free through its kadaster (land registration office), the new company now called Post.nl sued them, and lost. The judge has determined that starting February 2012, everybody may use the postcode database for free, Gelderlander writes.

Similarly map makers Falkplan lost a lawsuit against the government where the latter published map data via freedom of information requests, Arnoud Engelfriet writes. Falkplan’s angle seems to have been to disallow competition, plain and simple.

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December 25, 2011

De Sjonnies sing M’n Fiets is Gejat

Filed under: Bicycles,General,Music by Branko Collin @ 1:03 pm

Feliz Navidad, that sounds almost but not quite like M’n Fiets is Gejat (2007, My Bike was Stolen).

My bike was stolen (3x)
That sucks
My bike was stolen (3x)
That sucks

I don’t want to walk home
I have no money to buy a new one
By now my bike is at the bottom of the canal (gracht)

De Sjonnies (The Johnnies, named after Amsterdam singer Johnny Jordaan) were a Nijmegen based band from the 1990s and 2000s who had a smallish hit in 1995 with Dans Je de Hele Nacht met Mij? (Will You Dance All Night With Me?). As I was a student in Nijmegen in those days, I heard that song rather a lot.

Let me conclude by wishing you a mijn fiets is gejat from the bottom of my gracht.

Video: Youtube/Thijs de Nijs. Link: David Hembrow.

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December 21, 2011

When parents fight with teachers, children learn nothing

Filed under: General by Orangemaster @ 12:40 pm

This year I have met several people who work as school teachers. Some teach children with learning disabilities, others English as a second language, or music. They tell me scary stories of children’s aggressive behaviour towards each other, but also of parents who threaten teachers when their kids get bad grades. It’s as if the teacher is the one responsible for the bad grades, not the kids, and never the parents.

From parents I heard stories of teachers trying to split up twins saying it was good for them, teachers insulting parents for not believing in God and stuff like autism is ‘between your ears’ (Dutch for ‘in your head’) and not taking it into account.

While I went to public school in the 1970s and got beaten up by the kids for speaking the wrong language at the wrong time (French and/or English in Québec), in the Netherlands today it’s apparently the parents and the teachers duking it out. Do parents feel they have no say in their kids’ education? Do teachers feel like no matter what they teach it’s useless? My teachers used to complain about being like the police to keep the kids in check, but the parents and teachers were usually on the same side.

“Dutch teachers are facing an alarming amount of aggressive, disrespectful behaviour from parents. A recent survey of 4,000 Dutch teachers indicates that many parents actively undermine the teacher’s authority in the class, some even resort to threats and violence.”

Watch the video (Dutch with Engilsh voice-over and subtitles)

(Link: www.rnw.nl, Image: screenshot of the RNW video.)

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