After having recently realised the superpowers of the shimmery, shiny, hot gold bikini top on stage and men’s collective drooling response to it (shutting up in mid-sentence, staring, being turned on and slightly ashamed about it around women), this one is for all of you.

The Radboud University of Nijmegen in the Netherlands confirms what I saw recently in a room full of mostly heretosexual men: pretty women stop men in their tracks.

The study found that after speaking to a female, men become markedly less competent at tasks like maths or word games. And if that woman is someone the man finds attractive, they become even worse. Single or not (as if that would make a difference!), when speaking to women, men’s ability to carry out a task drops. But during the study, when they spoke to other men, their abilities remained unchanged. Women’s performance stayed the same throughout.

I bet you gay men also follow this pattern. Someone tell me, I want to know. And if I extrapolate, I suppose gay women totally keep their cool. I want to know, too!

And then, this song is just great, as is Hugh Laurie. Here we go with a golden oldie, The Sophisticated Song.

“…when you ask me what’s on my mind,
all I can think to answer is ‘fluh-uh’ ”

(Link: thelondonpaper.com)